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Lets Kick off!!

Teacher: What will you do after growing up?
GMM: Facebooking
Tchr: NO! I mean what will you BECOME?
GMM: Admin of facebook pages. Tchr: OMG! I
MEAN what will you ACHIEVE after you grow
up?
GMM: Facebook Admin Rights
Tchr: IDIOT! I MEAN what will you do for your
PARENTS?
GMM: I create a page for them on facebooK. 'I
♥ MOM& DAD'
Tchr: silly! What do your parents want from
YOU?
GMM: My facebook password!
Tchr: Oh God! What IS THE PURPOSE OF YOUR
LIFE?
GMM: Facebook but never face your
books...!!! :D :D


Slick


A man who waz in a hurry,decided 2 uze a
female toilet bcoz d male toilet iz occupied...Az
he zat down on d WC.. He zaw 4 button on d
wall.........
A.R...A.W...P.P...A.P.R....
He prezzed d 1zt button.....A.R(auto rinse) nd
cul water washd hiz azz...He zo much luvd it
dat he prezzed d 2nd button.....A.W(auto wipe)
nd hiz azz waz cleaned up nicely...still luvin d
treatment...nd prezzed d 3rd button.....P.P
( power perfume) nd a nyce perfumed waz
zprayed on hiz azz...he did'nt rezizt d
treatment...zo he prezzed d lazt button.....(APR)
few minute later he woke up at d
hozpital.....nd a nurze den pazzd by nd told
him dat A.P.R meanz (auto-pad removal) nd
zince d machine didn't find 1 on yu...it
automatically went 4 ur ball......
"Here are ur ballz in d jar"hope u ave a
fabulouz dae?
Slick
chek out dis mumu...  An aboki man at d ATM withdrawing money,then behind him was an ibo man..ibo man said,aboki sule u b mumu i don see ur pass word,na four star (****).Aboki man replied him kai kai walie talai,na u b mumu laughing at d ibo man...d pass word na 2649.... dis one don pass sin.lol

Slick


STESSED MAN
•A stressed man was in his office
thinking deeply,
•suddenly a man
run inside shouting Peter, Peter,
your daughter Lisa just had and
accident n died on the spot,
•shocked and confused he jumps
out of has window! •As soon as
he
does he remembered his office
is
on the 7th floor,
•as he was
descending lower he
remembered he did not even
have
a daughter called Lisa,
•still
descending he remembered he is
net even married.... •Just 2nd
floor
before he hit the ground he
remembers his name is not even
peter!!!
LWKMD
•TAKE TIME TO REST TODAY
PLEASE DONT BE LIKE HIM.........
Slick
mmmmmmm

ENGLISH MADE IN NIGERIA. (ADD YOURS)
*ABEG DRESS BACK
*Mummy HAVE come\=D/ *I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU:p
*See as u BAFF up=))
*Put d bread inside LYLON;;)
*I strong KAKARAKA=D
*Pls help me SLOW that fan8-|
*Have they BROUGHT lite?:> *Oya come and be going/:) *I KUKUMA dont have ur time3-| 
*Shebi u
have BB charger:]Y
*See ow her eye is entering my food=D
*The FILM is SWEET X_X *Have u paid ur sch fees money?:x
*If I hear pim, u go hear weeen..
*Did u see d sound of my ringtone?
*I know u haf come since bcoz I hear perfume
*Horn for the car let him move=D 
*She has put to bed
*Come out let me pass
*I think U̶̲̥̅ have start again?
*shift come front small
*I was baffing.
*u have come back? 
*is your conern?:>

Slick
?In order to surprise her husband, the wife of a company executive decided to stop by her husband's office. On entering the office, she saw the female secretary sitting on her husband’s laps. In order to defend himself knowing he has been caught red-handed,the husband said shouting “budget cut or no budget cut, management must do something. I and my secretary cannot be sharing this office with just a single seat"!!

Slick
A guy scrolled through his girl's phone & saw funny names, saved in d contact list...Such as Emeka Stingy, Michael Blacky, Donald Hammer Head of Horror, Chukwudi ATM, Joshua Long teeth, Friday big ear, And he was just having fun, laughing at all d names he saw; So he decided 2check out what his own number had been stored with, And when he dialed her line,what he saw was DANIEL MOUTH ODOUR..

Slick


BIBLE TRANSLATION IN WARRI
ENGLISH: As it is written in the Bible.
PIDGIN: As dem yan 4 Bible!
ENGLISH: Jesus entered the boat with his
disciples!
PIDGIN: Na im Jesus cum enta canoe wit im
padi dem!ENGLISH: As the boat was sailing,
there was a great storm!!!PIDGIN: As d canoe
dey go, na im yawa cum gas!!!ENGLISH: The
storm was so great that it was like a whirl
wind!PIDGIN: as d yawa dey, na im kasala cum
burst!!ENGLISH: The disciples became so
afraid and they shouted master master!
PIDGIN: Na im liva fail im padi dem, na im dem
begin dey hala bros eh! bros eh!!ENGLISH:
Jesus got up and calmed down the wind!
PIDGIN: Na im Jesus rise up cum arrange d
yawa!ENGLISH: He turned to his disciples and
said, oh ye with little faith!PIDGIN: Na so Jesus
luk im padi dem, shake im head say UNA FALL
MA HAND!ENGLISH: The disciples replied and
said what manner of man is this?PIDGIN: im
padi dem cum hala sho!! bros J which kan
levels na? U B WINSH?
Slick


It was late at night and Heidi, who was
expecting
her second child, was home alone with her 3-
year
old daughter Kathleen. When Heidi started
going
into labor, she called “911.”
Due to a power outage at the time, only one
paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very, very dark so the
paramedic
asked Kathleen to hold a flashlight high over
her
mommy so he could see while he helped
deliver the
baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was
asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a
little
while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted
him by
his little feet, and spanked him on his bottom.
Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her
help,
and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she
thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, “He shouldn’t
have
crawled in there in the first place. Smack him
again!”
Slick
Mr A Admin
You have clearly done an amazing job here iyke. This is good stuff.
Follow @JalingoHQ on twitter.


The bride tells her husband,
"Honey, you know I'm a virgin and
I don't know
anything about s3x. Can you
explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply,
we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing
'the prisoner'. So what we do is:
put the
prisoner in the prison. And then
they made love for the
first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face
up on the bed, smiling with
satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles,
"Honey the prisoner seems to
have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles.
"Then we will have to re-imprison
him."
After the second time they spent,
the guy reaches for his
cigarettes
but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the
new experience of making love,
gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the
prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion,
but
with the unsteady legs of a
recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the
bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey,
the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS
at her, "Hey, its not a life
sentence,
OKAY!
Slick
Last night, boy drops the girl at her home,
standing by the gate, he puts his hand on
the wall n said....
"Can I kiss you?".
Girl: No, not today....
Boy: Please....
Girl: No.....
Boy: Please, give me....
Girl: No, not today....
This continued for 10 minutes,.
Then Girl's little brother appeared at the
door, says....
Dad is saying, whether you give him kiss or
not, it's your decision.....
but tell that b**t**d to remove his hand from
the intercom button....
Everyone at home are listening 2 both of
you..

Slick
MOSQUITOES PRAYER 2NYT
 
Our victims who will be sleeping..Hallowed be thy beds..thy night has come..thy blood will be our food..As it is expected..Give us this night our bloody meal and forgive us our malaria transmission as we forgive those who spray insecticides against us and lead us not into treated nets but deliver us from mosquito coils for ours is the biting, the sucking and transmissions forevr and ever...Amen! Good night!!

Slick


Jesus is lord
yes, that has been a good job.
Great Job Iyke
U Are A Good Comedian Iyke. Chop Nut & Ride On
This is indeed marvelous



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